As we get older, most of us think we have a pretty decent grasp of at least the basics of survival in the current era. However, yesterday I was reminded of what my grandfather once said in the wisdom of his 80’s – that you ‘never‘ stop learning.

Sadly, not everyone can maintain that humble open-mindedness most effectively expressed by something referred to as the Socratic Paradox; Plato’s account of Socrates that: ‘the only thing I know is that I know nothing”. 

A Child of 80?
To everyone’s misfortune, some people are still self-indulged enough to keep pushing others around with their egos by this age. Worse still, they can mistake their ego for an ‘absolute’ sense of maturity and wisdom. They believe themselves impervious to any instincts that call for a proper self-examination. They are so deeply entrenched in this way of thinking (if it can be called thinking without self-awareness) that they use it as a shield to deflect the truth contained within the whole picture. 

In contrast to the ancient insights of Socrates – the absence of a humble open-mindedness is guaranteed. The only thing they know is that they (believe they) know everything, including how others should behave and even feel. In fact, they only know what an unquestioned voice seems to be telling them. 

Know Thyself to Love Thyself.
Indeed, they don’t even recognize this voice as their own. They have closed the door to love is a sad reflection of how little they actually know themselves. Consequently, the opportunity to love themselves has never presented itself to them. It is impossible for them, even for one moment, to imagine that others can see right through this. That this anger, bitterness and judgment are a red flag, they can’t even see themselves flying. We must conclude from this that life is a moment-to-moment torment for them. With this in mind, it feels only fitting that we keep the door open for their personal awakening. 

The Cause of All Anxiety
The cause of all anxiety is ‘want,’ including wanting others to be different. This blocks us from experiencing the joy of how we are different. It makes us incapable of extending the warmth we all seek to be expressed through acceptance. It also stifles others self-knowledge by disallowing them to fully come into their being. 

Many people are stuck in the fruitless quest of pathological self-judgement for their life’s duration. Through impulses towards the monkey-see-monkey-do reflex, they too often believe that since they were judged by this standard of compassionless authoritarianism, so should you. This somehow makes their own suffering, and the sacrifices they have made for it feel more justified. Consequently, they miss out on seeing the full spectrum of colours that life actually is. 

After Tens of Thousands of Years, is Humanity Really Still Stuck at this Point?
These little nuances in everyday communication have cascading and catastrophic effects, but how? It starts violently wanting others to share your opinion on things which shuts down communication. A non-starter, which it seems most people are guilty of in one shape or form. In a material world where the noise of the ego dominates, it blocks communication by turning our beliefs into objects – creating the illusion that our opinions are part of our physical selves. 

This further renders people into unshift-able adrenalin junkies, angrily defending themselves from the words of others as though they have been physically assaulted. 

What Hope is There of Change?
How lost we must be in our world of unconscious self-judgement, insecurity and inadequacies to carry on this way. Yet is it not a more conscious act of willfully forgetting the history of our own verbal abuse and neglect of others?

The lack of self-compassion is fed by the drive to deny everything about ourselves. This insistence upon our innocence makes us blind to the offence and abuse we might cause others today, including persistent self-abuse. Instead, we must be right at all costs, even at the expense of the relationships themselves.

It seems evident that some are more hooked on such unchallenged pathological patterns than others. These hidden contradictions are projected as blame – pointing the finger in each instance for how they feel about themselves. With every last fibre of their ego, they must avoid the journey of true self-knowledge beyond it.

Just a cursory look at these facts reveals that real immaturity is demonstrated by those who childishly refuse to extend the same level of compassion shown to them by others. It’s okay to read this, recognize yourself in it and feel embarrassed. That feeling has to be experienced; let the crack in the facade of the ego open. This is where the light comes in. 

The Insistence of Ego
Most will keep blocking it until their last breath; it is more important for these people to protect their egos. More critical for them to feel as though they are ‘right.’ 

They are more likely to call others ‘angry’ if they expose any of this. Meanwhile, they sit on their throne of lies they have told themselves to feel superior. They banish all mirrors from their kingdom to ensure they never get a good look at themselves.

Whether someone is transfixed on their material success or suffering from a superiority complex that stems from a sense of greater intelligence, for too many, these things are often more important than love. Is there any hope for people who are blind to their own discompassionate authoritarianism? Would they recognize love if it were to hit them in the forehead? 

If You Haven’t Learned How to Communicate Love, What Use is What You Have Learned?
There is intellectual intelligence, which is cold, scientific fact, and emotional intelligence, which is one way of describing a character trait that stems from the simple experience of love.

(Real) love does not judge. It does not point the finger, does not come from a place that wants to make others feel guilt, shame or worry. Real love carries with it authentic compassion. If you haven’t experienced this, you haven’t met yourself authentically. Genuine compassion moves naturally ‘with’ the awareness of how our own behaviour would make others feel. 

Compassion is compassion. Compassion for oneself is one and the same as compassion for others. It is not selective. It is universal, without boundaries or judgement. 

Before You Call Yourself (or Anyone Else) an Adult Again.
The greatest challenge, perhaps, is how those who lack this seemingly instinctive understanding of love have a perverted sense of righteousness about what it means to be an adult. They shun the word human and imbue the mythical status of adulthood in its place as if reaching their standard of detachment is where everyone should be. This compounds the evidence that the invented concept of being an adult has nothing to do with showing compassion towards people.

What do people think being an adult is exactly? Unhappily married with an unmanageable amount of children and an un-payable mortgage? Just vote in favour of the wars and the war on self-knowledge and self-love. Is that it? What is this adulthood without love? We see the result today.

Not So Intelligent After All?
‘Adults’ send their own children to wars and kill other human beings and children.

Adults obey the orders of compassionless authority figures; teachers, gurus, presidents, and bosses. Adults obey the unspoken order to go out to work and spend most of their lives away from their loved ones. The life mission? To fill their house with useless junk and their heads with junk ideologies that make them justify being apart from their families all day. They call this succeeding at adulthood. All at the expense of a dying planet. 

Is the message of adulthood to breed, unconsciously, have 6 kids or more and show no love and expect nothing but respect in return? Conformity to ideas approaching the advanced stages of destroying our planet – our one and only home; as Carl Sagan said, we have a duty to co-operate well enough to keep alive.

Breaking Down Barriers
In the same way that Sagan said we have to see beyond fictional National boundaries to cooperate, we have to see beyond the ideologies and values these same Capitalist systems have instilled in people. To be a human is not dependent on our ability to coldly kill our relationships while simultaneously killing the earth. This is the opposite of what Sagan meant. We won’t fix anything at all without universal compassion.

Should we brand these unconscious generations with a FAIL at the new ‘school of conscious compassion? The world is dying from unconscious obedience to desperately outdated ideas of what it means to be an ‘adult.’ With the ominous spectre of increased resource wars, we instead need to focus on healing it by understanding what it means to be a human on a planet with finite resources.

Will the earth and our relationships with one another be healed by even more branding, blaming, and hating, which leads to more wars and destruction? The answer is obvious.

Self Knowledge = Earth Healing
It takes a moment of self-awareness to begin to identify ‘the self’ – and not to simply respect the differences in others but to love them. If we are to have our own differences loved too, we must see that what resides within us is worth loving. These are the same qualities that will heal our relationships, including the most important relationship. If we can’t love ourselves, we won’t be motivated to fix the planet that sustains us. Whether we realize it or not, a love for one another is synonymous with our passion for the earth. 

We have to put an end to the obtuse and disfigured ideas of what relationships are; self-righteousness has to be replaced by self-compassion. Avoidance of self-knowledge at all costs means it is only upon our deathbeds that people grasp all of this and think: ‘Ah, I missed the point of life; the point was to love unconditionally….’

Will you wait until it is too late for your loved ones, whose souls are still crushed by the ideology of mindless consumption, before breaking free of this compulsive obedience to false doctrines of what it means to be an adult? From this, we can surely agree on one thing about maturity and responsibility; the greatest of so-called adults would surely wake up to this and become human once again.